NEVER compare your inside ...... to everyone else outsides.

The sun doesn’t stop shining

it is just that::

we sometimes step into the shade

we sometimes step into another persons shadow

we close our eyes

we hide behind sunglasses

and

sometime night falls ………

When it comes to LOVE

There is no nightfall

but

we can and do 

step into

shade

shadow

or hide ………

There is NO nightfall when it comes to LOVE

even though we feel it sometimes.

Love has no OFF switch.

Romantic love can fail

Human love can fail

Divine love has no OFF switch

Divine love has no nightfall

No shade

No shadow

No sunglasses

No hiding place.

We don’t have to love to be loved.

No nightfall.

We don’t have to change to be loved

If we became perfect today

we could not be loved more tomorrow.

A LOVE that will not let you go …………

* BHP

The SUN does not EVER stop shining ..............

The sun doesn’t stop shining

it is just ::

we sometimes step into the shade

we sometimes step into another persons shadow

we close our eyes

we hide behind sunglasses

and

sometime night falls ………

When it comes to LOVE

There is no nightfall

but

we can and do 

step into

shade

shadow

or hide ………

There is NO nightfall when it comes to LOVE

even though we feel it sometimes.

Love has no OFF switch.

Romantic love can fall

Human love can fall

Divine love has no OFF switch

Divine love has no nightfall

No shade

No shadow

No sunglasses

No hiding place.

We don’t have to love to be loved.

No nightfall.

We don’t have to change to be loved

If we became perfect today

we could not be loved more tomorrow.

A LOVE that will not let you go …………

*

Love has no OFF switch.

We can't turn off feelings
They are part of being human.

But we can turn on LOVE
If we decide
We can learn to LOVE

Then 
LOVE has no off switch.


*

My favourite things - 2015

I have been working on this since December and still can't get all my reflections together.

So here are some of my Fav things!

2015

MY 2015 FAVOURITES::

Album                      * ‘Kiss the World Beautiful’ by Martyn Joseph

Single track              * Forgiven by Jamie Woon

Book                         * 'The Teenage Brain' by Frances E Jensen

Blog                          * LOVE has no off switch http://www.pipwilson.com/search?q=+love+has+no+off+switch

Web-site                   * www.blobtree.com The Home of Blob Tree Materials.

Journey                    * Home to MrsBeautiful - always a treat.

Gift                           * Soundbar to listen to music and great sound for TV.

Gig Training              * Lambeth CRUSE - with Bereavement Counsellors 

Gig                            * Rolling Magazine in Alesund Norway in February with my friend Torgrim Grimstad

Joke                         * Two Cannibals were eating a Clown and one said to the other “Does this taste funny to you?"

Software                  * 'Get iPlayer Automator' Captures 50 hours a week of Radio DJ music which I soak into my soul.

Buy                          * New iPhone after 3 years with the old ‘dying battery’ one.

Blob Tool                  * 'Blob Upstream' which gets people considering the past and impact downstream= NOW

Drink                        * Mint Tea.

Learning                  * Every 121 opportunity, every Training workshop I facilitate - I am stretched in preparation AND delivery.

Blessing                  * A new Grandaughter Nell - a little sister for Connie and a BLESSING for us all.

DJ                           * Gilles Peterson - continued to feed my soul with music - fresh and always new adventuring.

Radio Station          * BBC Radio6Music

Publication              * The YMCA TOOLBOX Book bespoke for the world wide Y -  http://www.blobtree.com/pages/featured-blobs

Festival experience * Missing Greenbelt Festival for the first time in 38 years.

TV Series                * ‘The Bridge’ - I love the Beautiful Imperfection of the lead ‘Saga’ - so full of feelings.

Injustice                  * The occupation of Palestine by Israel and the daily misuse of power/destroying ancient family homes.

Pipstagram              * The large celebrity in my life:: Conniepops age 6 in February forthcoming.

Event                       * Must be our 51st Wedding Anniversary back in October - and we are still going strong!

Cafe                         * Timberyard Cafe, Seven Dials Covent Garden, London - Love it Love it!

Restaurant               * Da Mario Italian, Covent Garden, London - forever my favourite in the WORLD !

Partnership              * Ian Long - Artiste & Beautiful Human with www.BlobTree.com -  great to work creatively with him.

Pipturesque             * Both my beautiful Grandaughters http://www.pipwilson.com/2015/12/my-our-joy-to-world-at-christmas.html

*

An EXPERIENCE - and a REFLECTION

Experience - Reflection

EXPERIENCE::

Twice this week

Little Conniepops has telephoned

1 To ask me if I can come and stay for a sleepover with Grandma.

2 To show me her missing front tooth.

REFLECTION::

I love our two little Grandchildren to bits!

Could not love them more.

The above two little messages

are wondrous ‘love back’ experiences.

True love

(I am reflecting now)

is not dependent on ‘love-back’

BUT it is great when it happens.

Two-way love is the best.

But as I have previously written::

"LOVE has NO off-switch."

It is a journey I am on.

Discovering LOVE

Yearning to LOVE

Learning to LOVE.

I feel I only have my toe nail dipped into LOVE.

I want to be in deep

deep-end

out of my depth

and I am swimming that way.

It is a challenge for all of us

to love when there is 

no feedback

no warmth

no communication

no love-back.

Unconditional Love is a well known phrase.

I think ……………

That is what I am reflecting on.

A love that will not let me go …..

Love which is so SO different than ‘LIKE’.

Love which is about enemies

as much as friends

as much as family

as much as those we meet or never meet.

I believe it can be done - this love thing.

BUT it is a journey ……. to learn and LIVE!

Same with our creator.

She is desiring of our love

but his love is not dependent on it.

If we became 100% Love today

She could not

LOVE

anymore

tomorrow.

*

I get emails from parents struggling with their own teenage children .........

hi pip my wife came to a course u was holding, she told me u was brill do u help with kids that have anger problems my child is out of control we have had problems with her for over 10 years with no help we dont no where to go for help

Hi - sorry you didn’t give your name

BUT Thank you for making contact.

I really feel with you and know anger very much - being full of it in my youth and also dealing with mainly teenagers since.

You didn’t give the age of your child but teenagers are often outpouring anger.

There are no easy answers for this but it must be of extreme pain to you and your wife & family.

I can only be of help to the people I work with by building a helping relationship and through that being able to ask questions and dig deep with them to enable to release themselves.

I tell people ‘youarebeautiful’.

'We can see a persons behaviour but we can’t see their inner life, their journey, their experiences.’

Even though this is your child you can’t see what goes on in their life unless they share - and parents are ‘old’ ‘out of touch’ however loving and concerned you are !

Try saying positives all the time and not criticisms - ignore the negative behaviour and love the person and say so.

Maybe there is only 1% but concentrate on that - look for the positives. You may see new things rather than see/feel the anger.

She/he needs to know they are loved despite behaviour.

I have read a book called ‘The Teenage Brain’ twice.

I think it is good whatever the age of the child/teen/adult.

There are people in Mental Health services - who maybe your partner knows?

These people maybe able to help you and your child?

Maybe counselling?

If your child won’t agree to seeking help at the moment - maybe you can seek the help?

Please feel free to come back at me if you need to.

AND stay beautiful yourself/s - the stress you live with is vital for your well being and your child.

Thank you for you openness and passion to work through this  - with this special beautiful child of yours.

Pip BHP

thanks for getting back to me Pip - she is 20 she just hangs around with people that dont want to work and r lazy she is very lazy and does things to wind us up damage things steals from us in r face all the time she as lost 3 jobs we just cant see her changing how can u love some one who treats us like rubbish as long as we say yes to everything she is fine as soon as we say no she kicks off

`

At 20 years old her brain is still developing - it’s all there but all the connections are not in place.

It is like the trying to use the remote on the TV for her and all the buttons don’t work.

The last parts to connect in the brain are the social & emotional understanding & communication.

I know a man who has dementia.

His behaviour can be nasty and he can do odd things - behave insensitively.

Since I found out about his condition - UNDERSTANDING helps me 

to be forgiving of him and sensitive to him 

Whatever the behaviour.

If you understand what she is going through - it will help in a big way.

Regarding LOVE.

We rightly don’t like her behaviour but it is vital to see beyond the behaviour to see the hurting person inside.

She must be rally hurting and her brashness and being ‘lazy’ are just masks to hide her true feelings.

LIKE has an on/off switch 

Love has no OFF switch 

AS hard as it is for you - why not try to love her in words and actions.

Give her something she loves - a little gift - a treat.

Maybe once a week.

Unconditional LOVE 

Give her something/a treat - not so she will behave better - use only with loving words ……

"I am giving you this because I love you ……"

She will see it in your face because 50% of communication is in your face.

Why not try it ……….

You have nothing to lose ……...

Try it

Below - your daughter is in the middle section - her biggest influences are her peers/mates - she will grow through this

We can never change someone’s behaviour - only they can do that.

We can change our own.

BHP

Sleeping & Loving

It can be as hard to hate a child as it can to hate someone we see sleeping.

With their eyes closed and their features relaxed and defenceless,

sleepers invite care and a kind of love

- so much so that it is embarrassing

to gaze at length at a person asleep

beside us on a train or plane.

Their face prompts us to an intimacy

which throws into question

the edifice of civilised indifference

on which ordinary communal relations are built.

But there is no such thing as a stranger

and

Love has no sleep switch

and

Love has no OFF switch

*

Would you love me as much if I was nasty to you?

Would you love me as much

if I was nasty to you?

Would you love me more

if I didn’t have the characteristics you don’t like?

Do you like people more than you love people?

Do you only LOVE people who you like?

‘LIKE’ has an on/off switch

Love has no OFF switch.

*

Watching Big Brother - #CBB #CBB16 and taking notes every night.

I watch every Big Brother /

Celebrity Big Brother on catchup TV.

I watch all interactions.

I take notes every late night.

I fast forward all staged bits.

It is so easy to ridicule

the show

the people.

We can see the behaviour

but can’t see their journey

other than the so called

‘famous bits’

None of them are famous to my knowledge.

I look at behaviour

facial expressions

outbursts of emotion

No-verbal communication

silence

aloneness

put-downs

jealousy 

volume of voice

lack of affirmation

coping methods

words used

stress

sexuality

gender differences

groupings ….

The behaviour is often obnoxious.

So easy to say they are a bunch of

screwed up people.

I say they are beautiful humans.

All have publicly known issues.

I guess, like us, there is more undercover.

I write down some their statements::

"I don’t like people - don’t want to interact"

"I don’t like anyone"

"I have no interest in people like him”

Such a lack of

emotional intelligence

- but not all - and not all the time!

One or two of the BHP’s

relate ‘in adult’ =

balancing words

sensitive

awareness to the fore

- occasionally - not all the time.

It must be tough to stay stable.

It is a hot-house of emotions.

I often think how I would manage.

If you read my stuff here/elsewhere

I am always reflections on emotions.

All relating to becoming …..

More aware

More skilled

Trying to develop my sensitivity

to be in helping relationships

with self

and others ………

In CBB there is behaviour on TV

There is emotional communication

from cold cool to raving mad hot.

Most behaviour is driven by emotions.

We feel these emotions in our daily lives.

Yet we try to be aware of them

and decide how to interact for the general good

* of others

* of ourselves

- RIGHT?

BUT here on TV

we have fragile humans.

Selected because they are dysfunctional

generally speaking.

The current TV series has had

extra impact due to the

ex wife of David Bowie/Angie Bowie

being in the BB house.

Added emotional interactions results!

It is so easy to ‘not like’ a person

(really it’s their behaviour we don’t like)

We all like/don’t like certain behaviours.

Love has no OFF switch.

We can recognise the feelings within us of::

‘Don’t like’ - ‘do like’

but for me we can have a mission

to LOVE.

That raises the bar beyond LIKE

and writing a person off.

These life/mission things

need decisions.

Awareness YES

but it start with a discover of 

Love and Value -

of ourselves and then others

despite behaviour.

Awareness always comes first.

That drives

*Change

*Decisions

*Attempts at living/loving differently.

You are beautiful

*

We can see a persons behaviour but we can't see their upstream ..............

.... when we. #Feel we don’t LIKE a person. .... it is always their #BEHAVIOUR we don’t like. I believe that we can love that human beyond behaviour- through behaviour ..... we can learn how to do this if we #believe in love. LOVE is #unconditional LOVE has no OFF SWITCH......lovewins and the people who are most #difficult to love are the most in need of love. ...... let’s hold hand together as we journey into love - a love that will not let you go. #YouAreBeautiful www.BlobTree.com www.pipwilson.com

A post shared by Pip Wilson BHP (@beautifulhumanperson) on Feb 1, 2018 at 6:20am PST

We LIKE away but we can LIKE and still DisLike

We LIKE a person 

or 

DON'T LIKE a person. 

That's normal 

it seems to me. 

We can switch between 

LIKE ON 

and 

LIKE OFF. 

When it comes to LOVE. - 

LOVE HAS NO OFF-SWITCH 

#YouAreBeautiful 

*

BECOMING QUESTIONS - The Answers to Question Number 5

BECOMING QUESTIONS Number 5

Every week I am asking you a question - YOU 

and as many as I can collide with.

THIS WEEK my Question was::

Will you ask me a question?

I have received these questions below and it has been a challenge for me to dig deep to try to articulate where I am with these deep realities of life. 

So I had to dig back in time to understand my past journey - AND now - it all impacts on me now in my BECOMING.

I trust you will receive my stumbling as the best I could offer outside a personal dialogue with you.

I also hope that these questions and reflective answers will add to your reflective/learning process and Becoming - as we share together.

So here it is - thank you so much for taking the trouble to ask me a question.

BHP

What or who inspired you to start working with young people?

Jon

When I was aged 15 I was carpeted at my youth club and was told I was unmanageable and had to go. BUT they gave me another option - to become a leader and look after a group of boys - the disruptive ones. So I started when I was a YP. My leaders trusted me, undeservingly, to give me opportunities.That is why I believe in participation and sharing responsibility such as having young people on Boards and Senior Staff Team meetings. That was one of the most significant events in my life. Thank you for asking Jon. Keyword answer:: Trust Risk Participation Valuing.

Pip BHP

Thank you for your Becoming Questions. We are all a work in progress and this is valuable stuff….. Question 5 is a big challenge! So many things I’d like to ask you, for you are a man of wisdom and experience…. However I’ve settled on this one: On a scale of one (lowest) to ten (highest) how beautiful do you feel right now, and what do you mean by ‘beautiful'?

(I’ve asked this because one of the most influential statements in my life, both for me and my own sense of self-worth, and for others in all my youth work / church work / life work has been the one you coined: ‘You are Beautiful’ - and I wondered how you’d feel when it’s directed to you…)

Love John

I am glad you ask about 'how do I FEEL right now’ because I believe I am beautiful - it took me until I was age 40 to be able to accept that and, the  years following, struggling to actually say that !

I have traveled around the world asking people these questions::  i) Do you feel beautiful? ii) Do you believe you are beautiful? Everyone says NO to the first question. A few say 'YES but ..’  to the second. 

Me? - Scale 1 to 10? I say (7) - I feel pretty positive uplifted encouraged (I am typing out my answer to you all and feel blessedI Me? - I have to accept I am beautiful because I believe that you are - and everyone is - so I must count myself in too. You may know one of my quotes “WE can see a person’s behaviour but we can’t see their journey” Behaviour can be beautiful or ugly. The soul, the core of each person is beautiful. Created as a beautiful innocent child & forever valuable, precious, special, unique …..Our beauty does not depend on what the scales say, what the mirror says, or what our feelings say sometimes ……  So when I was working with gangs, on the edge, with my feelings in the gutter - I started to believe and say to each one, as I do still, YouAreBeautiful. I knew I could not work with young humans & violent behaviour, foul abuse and more, living, as we were, in a community with the highest crime in the country - with 80% local youth unemployment, unless I began to see through their behaviour into their beautiful souls.

You ask John, how do I feel when it is directed to me. I have had, and have, some of the toughest hardest biggest men in my life who tell me I am beautiful. AND it feels good that they are in a place where they are able to say that and I receive it warmly.

Pip BHP

Two Questions from Two people here::

1)  How (and maybe when – if that is not a 2nd question)

Did you reach the place where you can see everyone

As a Beautiful Human Person?

Mark

2)  My question to you Pip BHP, which I'm asking because you appear to find good in everyone...

Have there been people in your life where you truly could not find the BHP inside?

If yes then what made you stop looking with this person, and if no, what gives you the compassion to find what others can't ?

Ian.

Thank you Mark & Ian - some of what you ask is covered in the above answer. But going steps further - I have had many people in my life when I could not see/find/feel the BHP inside. I have trained myself, and still at it, to deal with these initial feelings by walking through a curtain of those feelings. Owning these feelings. Feeling these feelings - not suppressing. Once I realise I have that feeling (negative, Dislike, Distaste) I deliberately walk through my curtain of feelings, accepting & acknowledging those feelings, but going beyond them to connect with the beautiful who may be out of sight.

There is always a reason, a purpose in violence, aggression - all behaviour - But I believe. I am attracted to people with obnoxious behaviour. (An obnoxious person is a hurting person - I believe). I am still scared of violence - I hate it. I have lived with it so much I have felt it in my blood stream. I still sit with my back to the wall in a cafe etc.

Pip BHP

My question to you is 'do you regret anything'. My answer would be yes, I regret never having children of my own. I am at that age when it is terribly lonely knowing that as I get older I don't really have anyone to care for me. 

Sue

Thank you Sue for sharing your own regret/fear. A privilege when anyone can do that. I regret lots of things looking back on my life. I always tried my best but I feel bad about who I was as a human over many years. The worst regret is my failure to LOVE. I have always been a man on a mission and many times my mission has not been about loving as the number one. I wanted to change people - not love people into feeling safe enough, confident enough - to take steps and risks for their own development. I like the Mandela quote:: "I don’t win or lose - I win or learn"

Pip BHP

With all of your vast experience why, when asked for advice, do you rarely give it but instead ask another question?

Nic

A great question Nic. This reminds me of the story when a man saw a butterfly was struggling to release itself from it’s chrysalis. He helped by cutting away the chrysalis to fee the butterfly and it flopped - unable to fly. The struggle to release itself was also to strengthen it’s wings …..

I never give advice. It is one of my ingrained values. I have a saying “I am responsible to people - not for people’

I have worked with people over the years who have been self harming, drug taking, suicidal and to give advice could make me responsible for a suicide. So - I ask questions to assist a person in their becoming. Suggesting they consider all options themselves. I tell stories of what I have encountered in the past. Encourage self determination which will build confidence and self esteem. I believe in 'self determination' as much as I believe in God.

Pip BHP

What's the advice you're most glad you heeded? 

Derek

Jim Punton RIP, who I would say has had the greatest influence on my life, was for years my Non-Managerial Youth Work Supervisor during my worst years - which were the best of learning years. He was the one who I shared my work, life and Mission with regularly. The role was a supportive one like Counselling but re Youth Work and Personal/Professional Development.

One day on one of my visits I said to him as a battered Inner City Youth Worker::

“I don’t feel spiritual anymore”. (I had not lost faith but feelings-wise - I was empty spiritually)

His answer/response was -  “I am glad” 

In following dialogue he told me that it was like moving from solid ground to take a boat in rough seas. It was a journey of becoming and when I reach solid ground again I will have experienced change. I was midst change and I was feeling it. Feeling rough. He didn’t ever give advice. He told a story. I have never forgot those moments.

Later on in my life I wrote a quote I use often:: ‘Growth does not reside in a place called comfortable’

Pip BHP

How did you balance work life /your passion (living on the job/hostels etc) with your home life? 

Were there any challenges and if so how did you work it out with your family?

Karyne

Yes - we lived on the job for many years - a Young Offenders Unit as Houseparents, A backstreet Youth Club, A 87 bed Hostel, an Inner City Community & Youth Work Project etc.. AND I have got it wrong many times in terms of family life. I always remember David Shepherd, he was the Captain of England at Cricket and ended up as Bishop of Liverpool,  who lived in the same community before we did, saying much about keeping family time DAILY. Another regret. I tried. I was torn between working with young humans with the greatest of needs and spending quality time with my precious family - two young girls and MrsBeautiful.I tried, failed, had some great family times - great memories, but also some major regrets. Balance? NO!

Pip BHP

Did hurt and pain in your own life set you on your “beautiful” pathway or was it pain of others or both? 

Annie

I instantly think - BOTH. I remember hitting the buffers when working with young humans - so violent - so bound up in crime - so hard-to-reach - so hard even to make contact with, begin a relationship with ….. I could see their behaviour but couldn’t see their journey - their inner being - I only saw the ugly stuff - lived in fear at times, and then ….. I clocked it that God loved these teens/twenties - and I didn’t. I failed to LOVE…… SO, due to my own growing awareness of feelings within, and empathy with their feelings and their NUMBING of their feelings to survive - I began to see their ‘beautiful' beyond their behaviour. And started to say it each one. NOW to everyone.

Pip BHP

How do you get to be an (obviously) terrific grandparent? And i have asked you this...... as one of my offspring is in labour right now.......so i'm about to be a grandparent.....yet again! ....and....i'm not sure that i've got it right yet........... 

Got another other grandchildren.....but….I need hints and tips!

IN YOUR OPINION......what makes a GOOD Grandparent?

NO NAME

I never give advice - see my answer to a question above. So no advice from me but what I believe in, and try to do, is - When our daughters left home I decided I would never give advice. Respond warmly to any questions, talk about what I/we have done in the past - both mistakes AND positive outcomes. (Don’t we all learn from mistakes!) 

Being active and supportive is special for everyone. Mutual support is given - which is a beautiful experience. We never interfere and only respond when asked. The Grandchildren, parents, grandparents - we all need support at different times. 

AND love - we love our own children and grandchildren to aching % - yet this, even this, must never become oppressive.

Pip BHP

The question I have for you is has your spiritual beliefs changed since the Mayflower (Youth Work Project)  ie do you still believe in Jesus as the saviour or have you taken a broader view, the reason I ask is that I am interested in people's inspiration and what they believe and the values they live by, also having known you from old, it seems as of you have changed quite a lot and I am interested to find, I love talking about these things.

No name 

What a challenging question - I love it that you love talking about these things. I HAVE CHANGED MASSIVELY and continue daily. It has been 31 years since I left that work/mission/life. I have been changing all these years  through many experiences alongside many different people. I guess you have changed - I would love to know those significant events where you remember change? Since the age of 21 when faith kicked into my life, it has been - and still is, my principle driver, motivation, foundation and I wouldn’t have been the person I am (the journey, joys, hurts, learning and scars) without that initial decision. (At 21 I decided to Love not Hate because Love does a better job)

Over the years I have worked in 5 Projects between my working in a factory years and my present Freelance years. All 5 were faith based projects and I was employed as a Christian Leader. Now I mainly work as a Trainer / Facilitator in a range of non-faith based projects. Nowadays I don’t talk about my faith journey until someone asks. I will never knock someone’s faith, whatever it is, or no faith. (see my words about ‘self-determination’ above). I am always willing to say where I am at but never what others ’should' be (I never speak the word ’should’ as I believe it is oppressive! )  My two biographies - journey through life spell that out in more depth.

1) http://www.lulu.com/shop/pip-wilson/gutter-feelings/paperback/product-20334801.html

2) http://bit.ly/1kZ2hcP

Pip BHP

I will ask you a question because I am an RE teacher and I love to know people's beliefs. It is so important to share our worldviews even though we may disagree: What are your religious views and how do they influence the way you think and act? What is the key religious (or non religious, if you don't have one) teaching that you live your life by?

Zam

Thank you Zam for that question. I hope most of what you ask is answered in the answer above. I don’t have a good education and not a good/or any religious education but I believe in it. I don’t even like the word ‘Religion’ - or use the word in relation to myself. My faith is not easy to articulate and I don’t want to tag or use labels to describe it = me! I think what I do is take as many values and principles from the Christian Bible and transpose them in to todays context - my context and beyond because I want to take some responsibility for the world too - not just MY world.

Pip BHP

About two years ago you mentioned unfriending me on Facebook, which shocked me at the time and has remained with me always. Did you mean it? 

Ian

A good tough question Ian, I can remember doing that but I can’t remember why I said that. I guess I meant it, otherwise I wouldn’t have mentioned it. I have never unfriended anyone yet even though many posts are offensive to my values.

Pip BHP

 How do you know that you are truly loved? 

Julia

I don’t KNOW - I believe. I feel love from many people - I believe they love me. Some say so. So do many men too - I love that. Our family - 6 of us are so full-on loving - and our two daughters' men. I feel it - I believe it. I have others in my life who don’t love me. I feel it. Others, I feel, don’t even like me. I feel it. I don’t like that ! But Love has NO OFF switch. I am determined to love deliberately those who struggle to show/express/articulate love. The biggest struggle I have had is to love myself. I was 40 before I managed it and it is still a management priority ! I am on a mission to love.

Pip BHP

If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, which song would it be and why?

I ask this because music is often the key to unlocking something about the other person's soul!! It is also a way of describing what inspires/refreshes/comforts you!!

V

Tough one because I love music - listening to it whenever wherever I can. Walking, Trains & Planes, Car, Commute ,Working at home & with headphone when MrsBeautiful is watching Football on TV. I will end-up by choosing ONE by U2. I have built a Game/Exercise around it which I have used with groups in Armenia ,Bulgaria, South Africa, Norway, Sweden ,Switzerland and on home ground. I have used it with groups as small as 10 & as large as 25,000. As the music track is being played on repeat, with everyone standing in groups of about 10 - one person lies down in the centre of their circle with eyes closed - and group 'slowly' lift the person horizontally as high as they can reach - and slowly down to be then replaced by other group members in turn. It is a spiritual, experiential, physical, communal experience. Wondrous feelings. One line in the lyrics stands out - gets to me……  “We get to carry each other, carry each other -ONE” It does NOT say ‘we have GOT to carry each other ..’ ….. It does say “we are ONE and we get to carry each other ….”

Pip BHP

Describe in three words a person that embodies the exact opposite of you?

WHY? I experience, that people who are similar to me or the opposite/different provoke/tease me the most. Ether they mirror me and  make me angry, seeing my own behavior.  Opposite people I can’t understand their thinking, acting … make me angry because I feel, see, think the world different.

Ulli

Cold/Closed-Book/Hard

I want to be warm in relationships. As a Youth Worker one of the major skills is making contact - a hurdle which must happen before a relationship can be established. Can you possibly establish a relationship without warmth? 

I am striving always to understand my complex self - being an open book with myself and with others. NOT Padlocked.

Vulnerability can be often thrust upon us and we have to learn how to cope. We can chose to be vulnerable too. I believe in that - it’s part of being an open book.

Pip BHP

Hey Pip, here is my question to you :

you seem to be a youthworker all your life.  How does that work and still stay an authentic person?

I asked it, because I'm a youthworker. It's a calling for me. I went to YMCA college more than 20 years ago. I started the Ten Sing work in the town where I still live. it's not my hometown. I moved there to start Ten Sing. It was quite successful and it still is after more than 20 years. I met my wife in that town. we got three children. I tried to study social work last year at a university, but I could not manage it with my daily life. I'm still very much into young people, and I think I could do this for a lifetime but there a always officials who say : we have seen some youthworker that grew older and we don't think this can still be authentic. they don't mean me personally, because there is no reason, but I have to think about my future. I know it's in God's hands, but I seriously think about it and I'm open for new direction... but I'm also open for the old direction, because I love it and I love young people.

I'm 46 now - thanks for listening!

NONAME

I love your passion here. That feeds me. Thank you for saying I am an authentic human. I would say I am am an authentic person BECOMING. I want to communicate with people. I yearn to get close - as close as they dictate/indicate. That means with any age but my life has been mainly reaching out to teens and twenties. I don’t have the same connection with children - I think it is a skill thing. Youth Work is my experience since I was age 15. I come alive with them. More challenging or indifferent the better! Building mutual respect and a relationship is the foundation. I believed for years that the first skill of a youth worker was ‘making contact’ in various contexts. The street, club, cafe, sport, games, music ….. so many more. I now believe that the essential first skill is observation. Reading the person. Connecting with the individual/group/gang where they are at. I believe that the hardest of hearts, hurting hearts, can read love in someones eyes. Love Wins.

My question? What was the best year of your life? Why? (You can only pick one.)

Wayne

Tough one Wayne - I have many to choose from ! - I think I will go for, after a quick google of all my years, to when MrsBeautiful and mI wed. She was 21 and I was 25. We had been courting, as they used to call it, for three years. We both worked for the local big employer Pilkington Glass. She worked in the StHelens head office and I worked at their Research Laboratories outside town as an Engineer - really a metal worker - turning and milling different metals to use in research equipment for glass production.

We were both involved in Youth Work as volunteers. We loved it. More than the day jobs. 

We bought a hose in our community

On our honeymoon we saw an advert in a National Newspaper for Houseparent to work and live in a residential ’school’ for young offenders aged 14 to 17. All committed to this unit due to criminal acts.

Where do you go to/what do you do when your soul needs recharging…?

Important as you give so much to others - really important.

Katie

I am mainly recharged when I facilitate a group/team on a training day. Next week I am with Kings College Student Teachers (PGCE) - a stimulating soul refreshing privilege. Also meeting up with BHP’s in a 121. They feed me deep in my soul. Sometimes feel empty and tired. Often this tiredness is because I am not relaxed. I relax when:: I watch Rugby League on TV - I become tense about the game but afterwards I am much more relaxed and sleep better. Another:: I write my feelings down. This search engine method helps me to get  the swirling out of my system & head. The activity of this summarises my life - internal stuff recharging by digging deep. Another is picking up one of my favourite non-fiction books and sometimes just one sentence is enough as it sets my mind into transposing the writers text into my own life. I love being stretched emotionally spiritually developmentally. Lastly, when I wake during the night and can’t turn over and sleep, I read a bit of a Lee Child/Jack Reacher thriller (my only Fiction) on my iPhone - this turns my mind away from a jumble of distracting thoughts & I sleep!

Pip BHP

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ALL the above answers are inadequate - a dialogue is always best. 

I would love to meet one-on-one with a coffee/tea between us - asking questions of each other.

That is the best

That is life !

Thank you for being there - asking and answering Becoming - Questions.

Please keep going - I love it

Please keep-on Becoming …..

A new Question will be coming at you on Sunday.

Pip BHP

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