Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Why I never use the word SHOULD

I have a thing about using the word
I never use the word 'SHOULD'.

There is no need to - there are alternatives.
My reason is -
I thing the word is oppressive
or better still
it is often used 
(I am always aiming to be non-directive)
It is also oppressive.

If we are a leader
and tell someone they SHOULD
THAT is oppressive in my book.

Don't believe me!
Otherwise I am in the danger of
being oppressive/directive.

CONSIDER yourself
make your own mind up.
Words may only be 7% of communication
BUT they are important!

Telling someone what they should do
it against all I believe.

as much as I believe anything.

I never give advice.
Even in the most obvious situations
such as 'you should not stab that person'.

My response instead would be::
'What other option do you have rather than violent?'

I can always use as an alternative
What do you need to do - NOT
what should you do!
Do you get my point?

Then I found this item online and I like it.


"Could" -- boosts creativity when used instead of "should." 

A similar form of magic happens with the word "could," especially when you substitute it for its sibling "should."
Here's a cool example from The Science of Us:
In a 1987 study, researchers gave participants an assortment of random objects, including a rubber band. Some of them were asked to think about what the objects were, while others were told to think about what the objects could be. Then, they asked participants to erase a mark without using an eraser. The people who'd been primed to think could "were more likely to recognize that a rubber band could be used in lieu of an eraser, compared to those who considered what these objects were.
Though they seem and sound so similar, research shows that "should" tends to narrow one's field of vision and limits potential answers, while "could" opens up your mind to new possibilities.
Another study, one about ethical and moral challenges, found that:
"When encountering ethical dilemmas, shifting one's mindset from 'What should I do?' to 'What could I do?' generates moral insight, defined as the realization that ostensibly competing values are not entirely incompatible."
A whole new train of thought, achieved just by changing one little word.