Wednesday, November 09, 2011

When I think of reflecting
I think on FEELINGS.

I wonder
you are feeling?

I automatically think these things.
I hope you are OK?

More important
I hope you are aware of your feelings.

It is not that easy.
Geting intouch with them
means unzipping the soul.
Looking inside.

Some times
is a place we don't want to visit.
It triggers more feelings
but ..............

Where I am -
I believe we need to journey
catch that bus
to our inner being
to our inner
dreams .....

I am feeling somewhat
A few humans I know and love
are in testing places.
A cancer operation
Repeated ill health
Deep fears
Broken relationships.

All these I think of the persons.
They are real to me.
I have just named and tagged them.
I can see their faces
hear their words
flickers of pain as they speak
flickers of warmth to me
deep expressions
etched on their faces.

I had a little sob today.
It just came up from my gut
through my throat
into my mouth and face.

So my feelings are with them
I also I have my own.

I feel with two friends in S Africa
Another who has just been mugged over there.

I have feelings about the gout
I have experienced a few times.
Ugly stuff.
I felt it returning these last few days.
But it did not develop.
Hope it has gone.
My foot feels OK now.
One strange thing
my nose develops red spots
as part of the gout starting
also leg cramps
and I stop enjoying a glass of red wine.
Odd eh?

My spots have faded the last two days.
My foot pain faded to zilch.
No leg cramps.

I have been diagnosed as
over producing adrenaline.
I do that it seems
when I am busy doing what I love
so I want to fulfil my mission
yet I get some negatives
in my human frame.

My soul yearns to do what I do
yet I guess my body would like less.
I am doing less gigs.
Writing more.
But some big gigs coming in
and I Lurve them.

So I have feelings about these things.

I want to share
the great things
the vulnerable things
I want to be open and real
not only showing the best bit.
THAT leads to really bad scenes
I certainly don't want that.

I wonder how you are feeling?
I guess they have changed
if you have read my clicks
and carry some empathy with me?

You are a beautiful human
to a great depth of your being.