Painful / lost inside / out on a limb / lonely

I am aware that I am impacted emotionally when Mrs Beautiful is not well.

She has been in bed with a bad back for two days

and troubled two days before that.

I am trying to work it through.

She has not gone on her weekly/2 day excursion to look after Conniepops.

The Sheilas - the great team they are, are working it between them.

We have been married for nearly 49 years.

I suppose like yin and yang - we blend into each other.

When she is out of the frame - I do different things.

But that is practical stuff and OK.

But the emotions are different.

I feel out of sync with life somewhat.

I suppose I am outside my comfort zones.

Behaving abnormally.

Thinking differently.

But it is the emotions I am thinking about.

I recall 1999 when she broke her leg.

That was really weird.

I found myself doing everything domestically.

(DEF outside comfort zones).

I didn't resent it.

I wanted to do the right things.

She was still the director of all things indoors - 

but I had to think differently.

I found myself running up and down stairs because I had forgot her knickers.

Then up and down again because I forgot her ........ something else.

I was used to thinking strategically in my job

bu this was another world.

I suppose we are settled in roles.

No role conflict.

BUT the emotions must lean towards what it is like to be depressed?

I don't suffer in that way - but I know many who do.

Painful / lost inside / out on a limb / lonely - I am empathising here ......

I am not complaining - I am just trying to work it through.

EQ (emotional intelligence) is vital to learn - and we can develop skills.

So I am transposing all my experiences into learning.

FOOTNOTE

Growth does not reside in a place called comfortable.