Friday, June 07, 2019

They are MY feelings which sweep through me like restless winds ............









I am desiring to be L5
(if you don't know what L5 is
read a few blogs of mine

or get the BOOK - see FOOTER)


I want /aim to share L5
tell you who I am
stuff.



When I go into a new
centre
conference
group ............
I feel lonely feelings
I expect them
I am a stranger
BUT
NOT all the time!
Just for a few moments/minutes.
I feel that 'isolated' feeling
I feel it
thank God for feelings
and spring-board from them.


It is not the fault of the group I am with
The centre/conference/hostel/event/hostel ……..


They are MY feelings which sweep through me like
restless winds
(and you too - I believe)
but 
I want to be in touch with these feelings/signals.
I want to feel them all
learn from them all
ALL.
And that is my striving for emotional intelligence.



When I share feelings about life
It is not the fault of life.
Not the humans around me -
not their fault.
It is not even my fault
they are just feelings!


Feelings are not right or wrong.
Behaviour can be right or wrong
BUT never feelings
it depends what we do with them!


It is behaviour which can be bad or good.
Feelings are real and, unless we reveal them,
to
self
others - appropriate others
it builds up =
a volcano will arise in due course……..

"BOTTLED UP 
emotions can damage their container"


So I feel periods of NOT OK-ness at life.
Something for me to work through.



At a Greenbelt Festival,
so full of goodies for me …….,
One special moment - 
a ‘ GREENBELT moment ’
was
When chatting to a woman,
a special moment
the best from the festival week-end,
was when I wiped away a tear from her cheek,
with my right forefinger,
as she/we were sharing L5 
Powerful …………. and
I wiped away a tear.
Beautiful gentle touch.
Blessing for me and us - together.

I will remember this moment forever…

*

Special moments
are 'Mint Tea moments' with individuals
and small groups/couples.


Many meetings of new humans in my life.
Meeting and greetings.
L1, 2, 3 and 4 which will lead to
L5
if we meet some more.



I recall the YMCA Cafe and encounters with lots of humans I knew
from when I worked in the Y full time.
Humans - the work-horses of the project
who pour Love out into every cup of tea.
.... and the same project
young guns working there - living there.
L5 encounters - - tense faces
clenched hands
open hearts
because they were in, and felt, a climate of trust.


Many I know from leading groups/conferences
with them as passionate participants.
Some who have had tough lives.
Hard times
mashed up years
Now living in Hostels
Not awaiting A level results
but whether they will have a bed to sleep in tonight ..........



To see them
meet new
feel their warmth
feel the connection
wondrous.



And late night drinks, which is the context
not the depth and the purpose.
Meeting new and old friends.
Meeting once-a-year-friends
Facebook friends for first time.
I Love Love the exchanges.
I loved so much............



Summary
Love it
Loved the interactions
the contributions we made/I made
the feedback too



So I am OK.
I am buzzing.
I am positive
with lots a feelings….


*