Thursday, February 20, 2020

My head and ..... washing machine stuff ............


My head and ..... washing machine stuff

I feel sick
Just reading about murders in Germany 
'No humans involved'.
I feel sick.

I have music in my ears as normal.
My washing machine mind is still swishing.
Loads of STUFF going on in there.

I am feeling OK.
I am disturbed & my eyes filled 
I like being disturbed emotionally.
It takes me to places where I strive to understand - some.
(NEVER will I understand anything completely !)

A woman who lost here sister to suicide
she says she it is like 
writing a detective novel backwards!
From her sisters death/backwards to try to understand.
NOT a 'who done it'
But 'why' she did it.
It grabs me as a human.
Emotionally, Spiritually, Wholistically.

I am on a train.
Big on my mind is five 
Cancer / Homeless /  fragile health / 
I am working it through.
Washing machine stuff.

When I am facilitating a training day
I work with BHP's experientially.
BHP's who work with Troubled Families.

I am there to raise awareness and help to develop skills.
Using powerful & various active methods with them.
Sharing where I am .........
and giving them time to transpose into their own unique context.

All these collide in my washing machine HEAD.
I yearn to be becoming
I will never completely 'become' but yearn .....

I am also disturbed by
seeing the state of children & famies
being bombed out of their homes.
Small young children scare
blood remaining on their heads
as if no one cares.

These things trigger emotions in me.
The Washing Machine tumbles on ......

Then the policy coming out of the UK government
about refugees /immigrants = 
It disturbs me
fuelled by built in racism.
I am on a train.
Soon to be in a 121 with a BHP.
That experience 
will set me on fire too ........

More in the washing machine.

Maybe my Washing Machine
is a
Cement Mixer ?