Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Pip Wilson Response to 'conflict management training'



Anti-social behaviour training 'could defuse conflict'

I read this article and warm to action/idea - with reservations.
Read of the article and have a little think - I did.

The training would include how to "read" situations and resolve conflicts
Continue reading the main story http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19174108


I feel the Police are not the best to tackle this challenge. Neither untrained volunteers.
My main reservation about the article is relating to how we defuse conflict as a member of the public.

Skills are good and can be learned but there was no mention of the fundamental root of much conflict = rising emotions within a person and the inability/lack of emotional intelligence.

For instance - one of the newspaper comments to the article was::

'The suggestion is ludicrously impractical; I intervened when I saw two hoodies trying to gain access into a neighbour's house through a window.
 This didn't meet with their approval and the bigger one decided to show how litttle respect he had for me. I responded by belittling him and standing my ground, which I was later told had taken me very close to arrest. The law protects yobs, not citizens.'

I now Repeat the above again below with my comments because I fear that such emotional responses are frequent and often escalate conflict into violence.

The suggestion is ludicrously impractical;
'I intervened when I saw two hoodies' One of the issues is viewing offenders or anyone different than 'me' as a tag = Hoodie
'trying to gain access into a neighbour's house through a window.
 This didn't meet with their approval and the bigger one decided to show how litttle respect he had for me. 'I responded by belittling him'
One thing we can do in conflict situation, to make the situation worse and put oneself in danger is 'to belittle' or put-down/name call. We can value people without agreeing with their behaviour. Our tone of voice, attitude and words we use can help bring the situation to a positive outcome.
 .....and standing my ground, which I was later told had taken me very close to arrest.
'The law protects yobs, not citizens.'
This last line again emphasises the basic attitude to young people generally. YOBS - I particularly hate that word. It devalues a person with a name tag and therefore we can disregard the person and not even being a human being.

I see all humans as beautiful humans. Their behaviour can be bad or worse sometimes but the persons themselves are beautiful - loved by God as part of her creation. That maybe too theological for some but purely morally it is best to treat other humans with respect because often - we are asking for trouble if we don't.

The interventionist needs to have social and emotional competencies which override our normal emotional responses. That is often the main issue with the offender. They have, so often in my experience, been abused and bullied by parents and/or others. A child brought up with that develops emotional responses. These can be fight or flight - and the fight option can be often used when they have the greater numbers, as in a gang, or if they are physically bigger than their opponent. (WE must strive to never be their opponent). Even if they are outnumbered and smaller physically, the anger often inside an offender committing a crime, will drive them to do terribly violent acts.

I have spent all my life getting close to young offenders - working with them and building relationships with them since Mrs Beautiful was 22 and I was 26.
We sold up our home one year into marriage and went to work in a school for Manchester boys who had all been 'put away' by the courts. Since then we have been learning ......

I have made many mistakes. My attitudes were massively infected by the general society view - 'lock em up' as if they stay behind bars for life - a- or come out reformed. I have had to learn and still on that road.
These are principles are where I am at at the moment.
I once spurted opinions which I thought was gospel - now I believe that I can only offer where I am at.
Head. Life. Work. Experience.


pipwilson.com