Sunday, March 17, 2019

Will you take the Blue Pill or the Red Pill ?

I wonder if you are in stretch?
Do you choose stretch?
Or do you choose comfortable?
Growth does not reside in a place called comfortable.

I know sometime
we need to choose comfortable.
Rest awhile

I always remember doing the red pill blue pill thing 
with a group of beautiful humans who were unemployed, 
with stress fractures of the soul.
Some alcoholics, mental health issues, chemical influences, background of rejection/neglect  .......... da de da.

Blue Pill = 
comfortable, no risks, safe, secure, predictable, certainty ...........
Red Pill = 
uncomfortable, risk, adventure, uncertainty, stretch, hurt, danger ...........

One young woman said to me 
"I want to take the Red Pill Pip. 
But my life is such a mess I must take the Blue Pill".
She reached out to the table in the centre of the group, 
laden with sweets and picked up and ate a Blue Smartie .........

I understood. 
I understand. 
I loved her in it and she knows I do.
She had real bouts of suicidal feelings.
Yet she came to my group.
She wanted to be with others.
Not hiding - wanting.
But she was brave enough to consider Blue or Red.
Brave enough to also decide - make a decision.
So often there is no decision.
Status Quo rules.

Lots to reflect upon myself here at Wilson Mansions.
I need to get stuff out of my soul
I am full-up!
Will do tomorrow when I finish my stretch.

I think of you before I close up my mac laptop.
I wonder how your soul is?
I wonder if you yearn for the Red Pill - 
getting out of your comfort zones?
I wonder if you you are yearning for an opportunity to be offered a Blue Pill?
I wonder if you place yourself in a place to decide?
Whatever you decide, you are beautiful.
Whatever you decide - 
choose life …….



Saturday, March 16, 2019

Friendship is the answer to hatred and violence – by Dave Andrews

Friendship is the answer to hatred and violence – by Dave Andrews

Dave Andrews
When I was last in Christchurch, I went to the Masjid Al Noor mosque. I sat at the back on a chair with the older believers during their Friday prayers.
It was these believers who were specially targeted and systematically slaughtered by Brenton Tarrant this week.
At the time of writing, I do not know if my friend, Hajj Ibrahim Abdelhalim,  the Imam of the Linwood Mosque, (pictured with me), is alive or dead.
‘Unprecedented violence’
NZ Prime Minister, Jacinda Adern, was appalled at what she called ‘an extraordinary and unprecedented act of violence’. She went on to say 
‘Many of those who will have been directly affected by this shooting may be migrants to New Zealand, they may even be refugees here. They have chosen to make New Zealand their home, and it is their home. They are us. The person who has perpetuated this violence against us is not. They have no place in New Zealand.’
And now we know the NZ Prime Minister was right. The perpetrator was not a New Zealander. He is an Australian. ‘One of us’.
Blaming the victims
And if there is any doubt Brenton Tarrant is ‘One of us’, one of those in the highest office in Australia leapt to his defence. Shortly after the attack Australian Senator Fraser Anning was quick to blame the victims:
“As always, … the media will rush to claim that the causes of today’s shootings lie with the gun laws or those who hold nationalist views, but this is all cliched nonsense. The real cause of bloodshed on New Zealand streets today is the immigration program which allowed Muslim fanatics to migrate to New Zealand in the first place.”
Propensity for intolerance
We Australians must admit there has always been a strains of intolerance and violence lurking just beneath the surface of our civilisation.
These have erupted in breathtaking acts of bigotry and brutality from time to time – whether its killing Aboriginal peoples to take their land, killing Chinese labourers to stop them ‘taking our gold’ or killing Muslims for daring to immigrate to ‘our country’.
We need to acknowledge our propensity for intolerance and our proclivity for violence, and the fact that, given those factors, we cannot continue to sow seeds of animosity without reaping atrocities, such as this, committed by the extremists among us.
Underlying attitudes
It is not enough to condemn the attacks, we need to deal with the underlying attitudes in our culture that aid and abet these attacks. How can we deal with our propensity for intolerance and our proclivity for violence?
After the holocaust, the Jews did a study of Germans, whom they called ‘Righteous Gentiles’, who effectively resisted the intolerance and violence unleashed under the Nazis.
Resisting hatred
They found that these resisters had three characteristics in common that made the difference:
  1. They were brought up in families that nurtured their emotional capacity for empathy towards others, or what we call ‘love’
  2. They were taught at school and/or church to have an intellectual commitment to the rights of others, what we call ‘justice’
  3. They all knew Jews personally, not as abstractions, but as flesh and blood people, as colleagues, relatives and ‘friends’
Security may track threats. Police may arrest perpetrators. But there is no quick fix. No short cut.
If we want to create a culture in our country that resists the current Islamophobia, we need to encourage everybody we know, in every way we can, to develop their emotional capacity for empathy towards Muslims, their intellectual commitment to the rights of Muslims, and their personal relationships with Muslim friends.
Dave Andrews is an Australian community activist, theologian and author


Sorry to bother you, but do you say “sorry” too much? What to say instead. Read more »

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Friday, March 15, 2019

When I say you are beautiful - another word could be .......

I am the Emotion Catcher

Emotion Catcher
I will suck out all your joy
I will clear out all your fear
I will tear away your terror
I will dry up every tear
I will confiscate your smile
Take the sound out when you laugh
I will evaporate all hope
Stop you singing in the bath
I am the Emotion Catcher
I’ll take the sting out of anger
I’ll take the buzz out of love
I’ll take the hardness out of hate
I’ll give contentment a shove
I’ll take the high out of happy
The low out of loss
I’ll take the heavy out of worry
I’ll show you who’s boss
I am the Emotion Catcher
I’ll take the green eye out of envy
The arrogance out of pride
Possession out of jealousy
The pain from when you lied
You’ll be emoto-neutral
You won’t even want to care
And if any feelings hit you 
You know I’ll be right there
I am the Emotion Catcher
Say goodbye to your glee
Say farewell to your fun
Say au revoir to your feelings
They’re already on the run
Forget the emotional rollercoaster
It’s not even worth the ride
You’ll feel flat as a pancake
With nothing left inside
I am the Emotion Catcher
I bottle them up with labels
And put them on the shelf
I hide them in the deepest dungeon
They’re a danger to your health
Don’t let emotions rule you
They’re dangerous and wild
You might do something loving
You might do something kind
I am the Emotion Catcher

Peter Barrett

L⃣o⃣v⃣i⃣n⃣g⃣y⃣o⃣u⃣ New Zealand

...... l⃣o⃣v⃣i⃣n⃣g⃣y⃣o⃣u⃣ 

to all people of ....... 

Thursday, March 14, 2019

I always been drawn to teenagers who are street wise.

I always been drawn to teenagers who are street wise. 
I have worked with young offenders full time since I was 26 years old -  in several projects.
Often they have been brought up on the street and that is their skill, craft and employment. 

During my many years leading youth projects they have always been attractive a high percentage of teenage boys who carried knives, 
take drugs and are involved in planned violence (often football- and racially-motivated). 

They have had other challenges, such as being unemployed.
They can chat normally when they are on their own but are often aggressive, abusive, disruptive and irresponsibly dangerous when with a group of friends.

I consider that most of their anti-social behaviour has been motivated by a need for excitement - real pleasure in having a sense of achievement. 

Midst these BHP's, who attract lots of attention  with their behaviour, there are teenagers  in the same community who are relaxed, pleasant, friendly and enjoy friendships using Youth Club facilities & programmes at their pleasure.

They may have jobs or be unemployed.
This category includes nearly all the girls but only a small minority of boys. 
Those in the club who don’t get involved in criminal activity – that is, often the minority, are seen by the majority to be abnormal, or deviant! 

All of us need to be stretched.
All of us need a sense of satisfaction in our quest for growth &development.

Steve Rowgslie, writing on ‘The Potential of Intermediate Treatment’ in New Society stated that 
“The minority who are too timid to share the joys of law-breaking 
are more likely than the delinquents to be maladjusted individuals”.

80% #Youth #Unemployment

...... backintheday 

80% #Youth #Unemployment in #Canning#Town 
#London E16  
#Thatcher years. 

A #government #minister came to see me - 
never looked me in the eye ........ 
it was like talking to a dead man ........ 


Tuesday, March 12, 2019

'We become fully conscious of what we are able to express to someone else'. Group Work in a Hostel for Young Humans.

A group gathered around a pile of sandwiches at lunchtime-ish. 
After the consumption washed down with mugs of tea - always quick when breakfast has been missed - 
I kicked the group off from the informal chat into a leader led process which they are used to.

I handed out a paper which said that a child from birth to age five gets 478 negative messages a day.
"Stop that."
"You little ..........!"
The paper had a list.
I spent very little time with that but moved on quickly to -
I asked everyone if they saw a glass half empty or half full. 

I went around the group and everyone commented. 
All gave sincere reflection to the question and a large percentage of the eleven present spoke in the negative.

Introducing the session very informally - 

I suggested we look at the issue of 'positives and negatives'.
The next step was a try with something never attempted with this community before. 

Everyone was given a slip and asked to write their own name on it and into my cap it went. 

Mine too.
The draw resulted in all having a name which was not their own. 

My plea then was for each to say something positive about that person. 

Even if they had never met before - a reality. 
It was fantastic. 

Everyone did it even if some struggled and had to be helped/encouraged by the group members. 

The brother to his sister was the slowest response. 
A real struggle. 

Also a 'first time' member of the group with a total strangers name in his hand. 

He did it. 

It was an affirmation communicated well about her clothing.
He did it.
I felt good to see and hear the words stumble out. 

Then I moved in with some other questions;
1 Do you remember positives or negatives mostly from you life experiences?
2 Do you normally speak mostly positive or negative?
3 Do you think positive or negative?
4 What are the feelings when you get a positive or negative?
They did it.
We did it!

Now we are talking about humans in the group who have met some pretty harsh experiences of;
- being rejected as a child
- seeing a friend stabbed to death
- abuse
- mental health issues
- alcoholism
- drug misuse
- and multiple issues for some.

Not only did they say that the negatives in their lives have an impact now, they said what they were - owned them and not pretending and hiding behind a mask.
Faces stilled. 
You know how sometimes the skin becomes drawn and passive - it is because the interior human is being disturbed and comforted at the same time.
Disturbed through the recall of life experiences.
Comforted by the support of the group - the realisation that they are not alone - and the first time facing of reality as it was..... and maybe is.
It was fantastic and powerful.

The session moved to close with a reaffirming of the objective which had been floated at the start.
1 Thinking and practising being positive.
2 Considering our reality in our daily lives. 

What do we do by habit?
3 Choosing to go down the positive route - a strategy for a new life.

I floated, lastly - these four life positions - soul positions - psychological positions;

1 I am not ok ................ you are not ok
2 I am not ok ................ you are ok
3 I am ok ...................... you are not ok
4 I'm ok ........................ you're ok

..... and they said which they were ..... 

because they had become aware of themselves ................ and to tell it ..... 

'how they were' was important .

........ I hope you can position yourself 

1 2 3 or 4 ............. ?

The other groups I lead are very different - 

and never the same people.
Different objectives, styles, tools.
......... and a stumbling to get close 
and be
and become .......... BECOMING ......

This is what Grandads do ....................

Methods using The Blob Tree Tools