... this is a London Tube train and I have never seen one so empty ..... and yesterday I was dead in one ......... and around me limp bodies - equally dead ............. and I felt weak and dozed between the stations ............... waking up at every stop ................ pretending I was awake ........ and I doodled in my little life book (some I have slotted in below this blog) ...... in the midst of drain, somehow the soul turns and spins and points and kicks ......When I am in the midst of
tense
tired
drained
nervous
aggresssion
conflict
I breathe deeply and slowly
in the tube
I breathe
it is hot
stench of brake pads
stench of body heat
oxygen-less air and heat ..........
it is hot
........... and I think about the group at the beginning ................ and I have nothing to say ....
.... but then I think about the group at the end
revealing
warm
tired
alive
intimate
alive ............
.....................and the Glory of God is a human fully alive ......
Are you fully alive?
That means sometimes being
tired extreme
Tense and - not happy
spurting with excitement at being amongst humans
diversity
colours
shapes
flavours
ages
dull eyes becoming shining ........
I want to love
I want fast love
I want slow love
I want eyeball love
I want intimacy love
I want listening love
I want yearning love
I want deep love
I want searching love
I want understanding love
I want to love like I've never been hurt
I have decided to make my life an act of love .................
.
