I must be more sensitive to these humans in my life
who support the dominant Premier league Football teams.
I feel deeply about my own Rugby League team
(hardly anyone I know cares because it is such a minority sport in the UK)
BUT
I am talking about feelings here.
Sensitivity.
AND, damn, am I hurting at the moment, because my team has lost 5 in a row.
We are in the top four clubs in the UK and yet this year slated by injuries to the best players.
Wondrous the young guns are stepping up and doing well
but the experienced ones are missed greatly.
What feelings I have ..............
***
I feel bad I have not met up with Mr Singh for a long time.
June will be the first opportunity to curry again ..........
***
This week Mrs Beautiful will be seventy and the whole* family are going to Majorca for a few days.
It is a strange feeling because we have not been on holiday for at least 5 years.
I don't know how to do it!
My life has changed in this time, my lifestyle and programme has become far more bitty - being a freelance.
* The whole family - I mean the Sheilas and little 3 year old Sheila + MrsB and me.
Then Ann breaks her ankle last week - crutches enter the holiday!
Then Joy is so busy at work that she is flying in for only one night/birthDAY and scurrying back to fashionstylieville.
That leaves me and MrsB with two legs each to run after Conniepops and 4 suitcases and buggy and .........
I think I will stay home ...................**
***
NO - we will love it**
***
I prayed when I posted a letter to prison today ........
***
***
I am listening to Puccini. His Madame Butterfly is my favourite Opera and I always listen to it on holiday AND
I always read Psalms ................... not done either proper for years ...........
***
MY LAST TWEET WAS
'People/Families with little spare cash can easily stay indoors.
Maybe watch too much TV, smoke, drink+love their kids/neighbours -because they need 'em'
I feel deeply for those who are locked in poverty.
Their media image is often only promoted by dysfunctional/socially-unskilled families WHEN
so many are genuinely authentic loving living but toughened humans - who I love so much.
***
I weep sometimes.
I feel lonely sometimes.
I feel inadequate sometimes.
That means sometimes I feel those feelings, maybe only fleetingly.
Maybe for a bit longer because I am trying to study those feelings.
I AM NOT LONLEY - but I know the feelings.
Please don't think I am locked in with any of these feelings I mention.
I feel Vulnerable - fleetingly sometimes.
BUT - it is true I weep sometimes.
Sometimes it jumps out on me when I am not expecting it.
BOO !
***
I was gifted a 2 books by MrsBeautiful on my recent birthday.
I mention that below with a Pipturesque of one book.
I wept yesterday when I read the following.
I want to leave it with you to see ..............
If you can figure out why I wept?
I spent some time after the tears - to google my soul to understand.
I think I know - would you?
Here is what I read::
"
But if I get too near this woman
if I listen to her
if I begin to know the names of her children
her past her life
If I identify with her
I can't go on eating as I used to
I can't accept the luxury and the waste
If I truly love
if I feel concerned
my life must change
the time I get up and go to bed
the friends I like to talk with
go out with eat with
in smart restaurants
the books I read
the money I have to spend "
Jean Vanier.
