Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Our most powerful communication is what we are not saying.

I conduct/facilitate training.
Communication is always an a agenda from all participants.
Every team someone says 'there needs to be more communication'.

It is an issue.
Usually they all mean they wish to be informed but deeper - there is a need to also be consulted.

I would like to ask you - a question to you 
re your workplace, team, community, society, 
Are you 

I strive to be the last two.
I always want to take, to learn, to benefit from the experiences of others. 
I love to discover a persons journey - unless we know something about that journey - the blessings - the hurts - the scars ...... we do not know that person.
I love being with a human who is able to do that.
We connect - we share - we dialogue - opinions slide from view and feelings become more prominent.

We all communicate either aggressively, submissively or assertively.
AND that can switch around from second to second - all driven by our feelings which we may or may not be in touch with.
I work with people on awareness.
Experiential exercises trigger feelings in the here and now (historic feelings not so useful).

We can learn how to get in touch with our feelings.
We can learn to manage those feelings - becoming aware.

THEN there is another phase of learning the skill. The skills of communication which includes reading what people are NOT SAYING.
Here lies the most powerful communication.
IF we can develop skills in managing our emotions we can then be better able to read the non-verbal communication of others AND SELF.

So if we want to love - we can love without being aggressive and 'putting down' a person.
If we become aware that we can be submissive in a group or 121 - that in itself is a step towards developing awareness and skills which follow.

Study the three columns above. Be honest with yourself about how we can communicate in different situations - not just with your closest friends.
Read TV programmes - the human transactions. 
Observe others in a cafe or any social or formal situation.
Go on - have a go.