Monday, September 07, 2015

I just watch the human interactions. AND FEEL …………..


When I don’t know what to write
I start with Feelings ……….

I watch Big Brother on TV
usually always late night catchup
just before I go to bed.

I fast forward all
the presentations
I just watch the human interactions.
AND FEEL …………..

Much of the behaviour is obnoxious.
I have feelings about that.
But I strive to see beyond behaviour.

I see / hear behaviour
“I don’t like that person”
can come into my mind
but then quickly
I think deeper beyond my own feelings
to feel empathy with that person.

'An obnoxious person is a hurting person’
I often say.

I have had to journey here
as I have worked with young offenders
and gangs and struggling humans
over many years.
I have had to learn.
Health & Safety !!!!

I am learning from all this observation.
About self
about  deeper needs of persons
and the effort they can put in
to cover up their true vulnerable feelings.

I see some struggle to be balanced
emotionally intelligent
assertive not aggressive
I guess in that house
it is really tough to stay positive and ‘in adult’.

Last night I learned something.
One person who I had unconsciously decided that
she was a bad choice by the producers - 
(she was/is so quiet and insecure).

Last night
she offered her vulnerable self
to one of the largest mouths
the hard hearted loud argumentative explosive men
and he melted into a BHP that, like all of them, he really is.
Beyond behaviour.

I love it when I see a hard shell cracking
splitting open.
A cracking up human
where the light gets in.

I want that for myself.
I love seeing it in others.
It cracks me up when I see/feel it -
even in fiction or a movie.
‘The chains fell off - the heart was free’.

I suppose I am learning that I can so easily write off
*the quiet
*the hovering in the background
*the uncertain
AND that is terrible - so I learn.

How are you Feeling?
Tell me.

I can learn from you if you tell me who you are …………