Monday, December 10, 2007

I don't feel happy
I don't feel unhappy
I don't feel happy
I accept that I don't feel happy.

I sleep with one pillow
multiple pillows are set aside at conference centres
I am a one pillow man.

This cough, it is dragging on a bit,
is requiring me to sleep,
with two pillows
and I am a one pillow man.

My eyes are leaking
my nose is a copy-cat
my throat collects feathers
my chest is making strange singing noises
creaking like old door
my thermostat is swinging
I am a one pillow man
and I don't feel happy.

But I accept that
cannot pretend I am happy
but distractions happen
I am putting up with it
I am getting up with it -
3 am tonight's experience.

I have feelings
about feeling like this
I am trying to understand them
not be controlled by vulnerability.

Joan and me drove to Joys for her birthday gathering yesterday.
9th of December
our first baby beautiful human
now woman beautiful human.

It was great meeting some of her friends I had not met before and some familiar humans from many parties.
It took us one hour to get there and two to return - one hour solid - sat in crawling traffic.
BUT - great to be there and
I clicked some wonderful Pipturesque.

Missed seeing little Sheila.
She was stuck in a TV editing suite
but came for a few hours overnight
after we had departed
but we will be Christmasing together hey hey.

Also an old pic from when the Sheilas were young.
Here we see the 'wrestle'.
We always had a wrestle time when they would attack me and tickle me
all starting on the couch but ending up on the rug
bodies flailing around and roaring laughter.
Fond memories hmmmm