Saturday, July 08, 2017

Are you still scared of your Mother?


For years I have led courses called 
The Road Less Travelled' 
A mixture of humans come for this short experiential 3 session course about life management - managing your emotions - assertiveness etc..

SO many humans have issues with their parents. 

I remember a number who could not relax with their Mother. 
Always felt 'child' with their Mum. 
Feeling oppressed by Mother. 
A number of these were in their forties and fifties and yet feeling not ok about these relationships.
The parents so often using the words 'should' or ought'. 
Not wanting to 'be' with their parents as adults together. 
Feeling 'child' and receiving 'parent' behaviour from their - parents.

One thing is - we cannot control the behaviour of others but we can develop skills and awareness to enable us to manage our behaviour and emotions. 
Life need not be painful in these areas of life. 
Broken or difficult relationships can hurt - but we need not be trapped in the hurt. OUR communication can so influence any relationship. 
Just our tone and response and love expressed -  powerful.

It is so important to have a relationship of adult/adult with our parents. 

Otherwise oppression rules. 
Not good. 
Ugly in fact. 
One woman who was on one of my courses was still feeling oppressed by her Mother - and she had been dead for ten years. 

'Shoulds' and 'aughts' still ringing in her ears.
So often we don't have the tools in our life toolbox to turn to and use when an issue comes along. 
It is so for lots of homeless, drug users, alcohol mis-users who I have worked with, and loved, over the years. 

But, also often, many every day humans are suffering because of these issues. That is a passion of mine - to have one2ones with humans and also lead group sessions where we explore these issues and become better skilled with managing our relationships in life.

"If we only have a hammer - we see every issue as a nail".