Monday, July 15, 2019

Transactional Analysis - 'Emotion Detective' Stuff here:: about the PARENT & CHILD in all of us


For years I have led courses called 'The Road Less Travelled' 
and a mixture of humans come for this short experiential course 
about life management - managing your emotions - assertiveness etc..

SO many humans have issues with their parents. 
I remember a number who could not relax with their Mother. 
Always felt 'child' with their Mum. 
Feeling oppressed by Mother. 
A number of these were in their forties and fifties 
and yet feeling not ok about these relationships.

The parents so often using the words 'should' or ought'. 
Not wanting to 'be' with their parents as adults together. 
Feeling 'child' and receiving 'parent' behaviour from their - parents.

One thing is - we cannot control the behaviour of others 
but we can develop skills and awareness to enable us 
to manage our behaviour and emotions. 

Life need not be painful in these areas of life. 
Broken or difficult relationships can hurt - 
but we need not be trapped in the hurt. 
OUR communication can so influence any relationship. 

Just our tone and response and love expressed - powerful.
It is so important to have a relationship of adult/adult 
with our parents. 
Otherwise oppression rules. 

Not good. 
Ugly in fact. 
One woman who was on a course 
was still feeling oppressed by her Mother - and ... 
she had been dead for ten years. 

'Shoulds' and 'aughts' still ringing in her ears.
So often we don't have the tools in our life toolbox 
to turn to and use when an issue comes along. 

It is so for lots of homeless humans, 
drug user humans, 
alcohol mis-user humans 
who I have worked with, 
and loved, over the years. 

But, also often, many every day humans 
are suffering because of these issues. 
That is a passion of mine - to have one2ones with humans 
and also lead group sessions where we explore these issues 
and become better skilled with managing our relationships in life.

Are you ADULT<>ADULT with your Mother/Father 
is it more CHILD<>ADULT ?

Maybe it is something to work on?
I am still learning all this stuff.
I became ADULT<>ADULT with my Mother when I was 40 years old!!

Keep filling the life TOOLBOX 

"If we only have a hammer - we see every issue as a nail".