Wednesday, July 30, 2003

I feel like I am about to go on a big big adventure.
I feel like I am about to experience something of wonder.
With many people.
Myself as one of the players.
Myself as one of the spectators.
Myself playing a part.

I feel that I am a failure in things I desire to do.
Want I want to do just does not happen.
My ideal falls far short.
It is so difficult.
Some I delight in.
Some I feel the big struggle.

The former 'feel' is the Prague Festival.
The latter is my direct work with people in such great need.
There is no 'www'......... for this ...... just see my blogs.
At this point I pause and unlock the laptop with Gilles Peterson, my favorite DJ, detail for new bloggers, and I have now the joy of listening to Worldwide GP04. .........Jazz fuzzed with dance, hip hop and ....... I will listen to it more...........

Yep. The feeling of being inadequate is there all the time. Ok, I know the work is not easy .......... as the life lived by some of these bhp's IS NOT.

I was asked a question tonight about why I was so committed to 'people'.
I stumbled to answer but ..... out came the experience of mine when I was 15. It was then ........ Then I was trusted in leadership as a 'good for nothing' trouble maker in the 'b stream' and a school failure.
I fumbled the words also when I talked about a later experience, when I was 21, when I became a Christian ..... or started on that road by becoming a certain sort of Christian. That I enthused about, it was the directional kick I was given and decided upon myself.

The trouble is, I could have continued to expound on the experiences which have been so influential on my life. They have been significant ...... and there are more which I yet have to clock.

So both my feelings today which I share ........ both are doing great things in my soul....... I do believe.

So I share just a little of this continuing journey towards wholeness which is the mission.

I read this today which gave me INSPIRATION to .......
"As regards U2, there is joy in the music that allows us to take up the big issues and go through them. There's a sense of wonder in the music, there's a sense of faith and of possibilities" Bono, 2001