Wednesday, July 02, 2003

yes .... I am back to work and, with full intensity, in deep with people with behavioral cries seeping from deep within them.

Spent one hour listening and talking with one man who just gulped cans of 'red stripe' lager as we spoke. He is dependent on the liquid. Articulate. Friendly and accepting of me and ......... I cringe with disgust at his racism.

He is not unattractive. He is talkative and I find it easy to relax with him but...
my innards cringe at his state of mind and at the same time I feel for him with compassion.

Then later I run a group session. He is there and about 12 others. For a time. Only about half stay and see the session process through. They come and go. I accept that because it is not school.
The biggest struggle is to stay positive because every 15 seconds the discussion turns to the negative. Usually personal statements. 'Self revelation' it is called. It needs to come out but it is not good when it gushes from hurting souls without a balance.

So it is draining for me. The 1 to 1's and the groups. Holidays are over.
But I want to do this. It is needed and I CAN offer something.

So I reflect on me and my experience and skills and sensitivity. Mission of life.? How I can do it better.? Be more human and in touch with them ...... and God and not care about management and job security but ........ being the 'flesh' there which is as appropriate as can be.

Can you understand all this? I share my feelings of walking alongside some beautiful and damaged humans. You may not see the pictures before me as I see it. Feel the individual hurts and beauty ....... but hope you can sense mine?

Well ....... wishing you love and wonder ..... ................................bhp

"dance like no-one is watching
sing like no-one is listening
and love like you have never been hurt"