Wednesday, March 23, 2016

PASSION WEEK IN BRUSSELS AND my stumbling journey

and midst this week
we have slaughter in Brussels.

Children & Adults of all ages
All faiths or non
Races colours of skin ......


I don't doubt the murderers have/had Passion.
A Passion of HATE not LOVE.

I strive to understand all behaviour
just to call them
is not enough for me.

I wish to understand
believing that I do

We can see behaviour
but not see their journey.

I don't want to hate these people.
Nether their fellow nationals
or those of their proclaimed faith.
They need to answer to justice individually
IF they don't kill themselves first!

ONLY light can kill darkness
MORE darkness can't do that.
The light enters all dark places.
I believe in LIGHT & LOVE.

But I cannot love their behaviour.

All this reminds me of my gangs work & studies.
We need to build a relationship 
get alongside
not shout from a distance.

That means being so close to their behaviour
which hurts and challenges me - 
but getting close means we can become & enter
into a helping relationship.

We will never defeat terrorists.
They can instantly become a member of the public.
Just like us.
Yet they can kill at anytime.

In passion week I want to
Love despite behaviour.

ADDING to my journey of PASSION

I am always churning yearning
I feel deeply

always searching to understand them.

Sometimes the thought process clicks in through my dim awakening head.

Decisions made in the past are my/our decisions.
Nobody else's
Repercussions follow and I have no regrets

When I was 25 and Joan 21
we got married.
Me became we.
We had been kissing before that for three years.
(First date at the Cavern Club with Beat groups on the bill
one of them called 'Beatles')

When I was 26 and MrsBeautiful 22

we moved away

(you can read all this in 'Gutter Feelings'
my first book
MrsBeautiful and me moved on - and away..

So at 26 I left behind my engineering
At Pilkington Glass Research Laboratory 

and hometown
and went off to be House-parents for 15 boys.
A Young Offenders Unit
All Manchester boys
sentenced by the courts.

Burning bridges behind
but never relationships.
never faith.

We have lived in accommodation with the job
every step
five different pins on the GPS map
residential work - always with young humans
always living on the edge
me and them.
For 38 years.

No regrets.
From being a fat uneducated working class lad
I have moved in faith and profession
beyond my expectations x 7.
In awareness and skill.
Scars and learning walking/working in synergy.

My faith has changed.
Somehow the conservative bubble burst.
Someone greater than me
holding the pins.

I became and still becoming radical.
Left behind the words 'should' and 'aught'
journeyed into a place called uncomfortable
where growth resides.

My awareness changed
my skills changed.
Life has been wondrous - 
joy and tears flowed mingled down.

University of Life
The best qualifications 
always collecting scars.

I have discovered some of the wonders
of emotion
of spirituality
of Loveology
of deep relationships
of being sick with fear
of stumbling into training

of living taking the mask off
of fumbling into group work
of having teeth knocked out
of learning how to sit in the gutter

of one set of footprints in the sand
of the essential need for team work
of creating developmental exercise
of learning how to weep at injustice
of communicating with Blob Tree blobs

of always living with change as normal
of learning how to feel for and with the bruised
of learning that I have only learned a little ......................

I don't want to settle down
I realise I am getting older
Only my body!
Maybe not as long in the hours as I used to be.

But it is time for change and I know it.
Change forever constant.

Now determination is set in
Journey locked in the GPS
but do not know the destination.
And a divine sat nav to have faith in.
Not only about the journey
and turn by turn navigation
but also
the destination.

As it started as two x MEs
becoming one = WE.
so be it
as it was
also it shall be.

the Passion