Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?


Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? 

Because if I tell you who I am and you don't like who I am, that is all I have.

That is the title of my favourite book of all time. 

The title is on the back cover. 

Only the first 10 words are on the front cover.


I am determined that, on this blog and daily life, that I strive to tell you who I am.
I Go for the dropped mask pose.
Not to show my worst side but my true-as-possible picture.

Yesterday was a strange day. You maybe aware that I have prostate cancer and that it has spread to my spine. Over the Christmas holiday period I had discomfort in my bottom, upper legs & the small of my back. I ended up not being able to sit on anything. I had been taking Paracetamol for the pain but it became so bad that I phoned the cancer hotline - a specialist Nurse. She advised me to take the max Paracetamol meds = 8 a day.

That treatment lasted until yesterday when I decided I would HAVE TO take a stronger pain killer prescribed by my doctor -  I had been reluctant for some time.

I have been waking early in the morning and up about 5am to take the meds. Yesterday they were the new tablets for the first time - which consumed at 5am then went back to bed and slept solid.

Up, for the second time in the day, at 10am & largely pain free - I found myself falling asleep a few times - still pain free. NOW I am on 8  tablets a day and trying to spread the positive throughout the day because the gaps hurt.

Sharing this because NOT DOING causes more damage to me, and you if you don't share inner being stuff.

Thank you for being there