Thursday, February 18, 2021

What do you do before you go to sleep at night?


What do you do before you go to sleep at night?
Trash TV
Hot Chocolate

I always want to write.
Most times I do at these times.
I want to reflect.
I want to get it out
- the stirrings of the day.

I am tired but in the slowness
I want to connect with my soul.
The innards
the place I want to journey to - 
my interior.

I am feeling ...........
I am always feeling
every moment of the day.
I try 
strive indeed,
to be in touch with them.

'Feelings' is a good way to take the mask off.
I asked someone today 'how are you feeling?'
I received 'alright' pause 'good'.
I asked again and there was a longer pause - 
So few humans are asked that question.
Most, who do ask, don't wait for the answer.
The space is not given.
The eyes don't linger for the reflection.
The eagerness to know is often close to zero.

Then out came a beautiful stream.
Single words - 
all from a google of the soul.
The beautiful human spilling.
Not details 'why' all these feelings,
but just words.
Single words.
Powerful words.
Every word with a story behind.

Two hours later before the peppermint tea and
before separation,
the words turned into stories, thoughts, reflections.

I am feeling
Yearning to become
A heaviness in my chest
Almost physical
But deeper than that.

I want to understand me more.
I want to be alive more.
I want to sip at the cup more.

I don't get the bit about
'you will never thirst again'.
I am always thirsty.

So my feelings are that deep.
Not many issues in life to be concerned about.
Things to do
emails to answer, 
please forgive me, sessions to prep but,
who I am tonight,
I am not afraid of him.
I just want to continue the journey.

I want to refresh my irritation ……..