+HOPELESS+
Originally uploaded by Pip Wilson.
.............. I am troubled .................
I am troubled deep.
I feel a deep sadness.
Not for myself.
The trouble in my soul is .....
I am only working this out as I click the keys,
I feel deeply for the people I have been with;
Trapped.
Locked.
Negative.
Dependent.
Medicated.
Brainsoaked.
Hurting.
Some few years ago a TV programme was made about the work I was doing in East London.
I felt 'not ok' ....
.............. because they called it something like 'Hopeless'.
I did not feel or believe the people I worked with were hopeless.
I believed they were deprived and lost and bursting with creativity which was also, sadly, anti-social and anti wholeness for them too.
Am I saying these NOW people are 'hopeless'?
Thinking and scratching the brain, which seems so close to the soul, I think they are not hopeless which is having ....
'NO HOPE'.
I feel and think the word
'trapped'
may be more appropriate.
It is not right to say this about all of these beautiful humans, in that, all are individuals and have unique issues in life. Sometimes I feel that they will have to get into a worse state before they can step away from it.
Hope is;
A deep word
A Bible word
A positive word
A futuristic word
A head up word -
A 'eyes wide open' word
I want to lock into that and not to feel the oppression of their loss, their deprivation,...............
The message of the incarnation, I believe, is .........
we have to feel that pain ourselves so that our own soul aches,
so we feel the brokenness,
feel the depth of their trapped life style.
What WE believe, now I reflect about you and I, directs our attitudes, tone, decisions and role.
So, I now say I have to feel the pain but but reflect then above it.
Beyond it .....
Lift up on Angel wings so that I am not trapped .........
................ but focussed and strategic in every relationship and
( again impossible)
in every conversation and utterance.
I feel better - some - now - as I understand me a bit more
and mission
purpose
life
you are special .....
.