Monday, January 24, 2005

I look at my finger tip .....

Originally uploaded by Pip Wilson.

.... I am doing fine but more than a little aware that yesterday I tried to 'tell you who I am' ........ and I did not do a good job.
Was full of feelings.
Tired too.
Had a struggle contacting my feelings.

Was feeling alone.
That is ok.
It is a feeling not a dread.
Not bad.
Sometimes in the middle of my people work I feel a few moments of aloneness.
I like clocking my feelings.
Really feeling them.
It helps me understand.
The young man who has just come into a big hostel and is desperate with depression.
The swearing sixteen year old woman who told me last week that she hates her Mother.
So - so ....... I want to feel the ugly and the beautiful.

I feel = I believe that clocking our ugly feelings - and owning them, is the first step away from the hurt which causes them.
The positive feeling - they are good to clock and practice often!

Tonight ....... I am ........ feeling more settled.
I have been struggling to complete my Tax Returns and I think I have cracked it - but not yet complete.
I feel for Joan with her Mother - who seems to be doing well but I feel deeply the anxiety in Joan.
I feel also about some new work I am doing. Going into new places, as I do, gives me an extra tenseness - 'stretching' is a better word!
Behind the late night music and unwanted bedtime ..... I feel a passion for life ........

I have tried harder tonight .... and "you never step in the same river twice" so I will catch you again tomorrow.

Touch a finger tip ..... or have a quick glance at that special design and remember .......... you are unique and precious ......