Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My Youth Work Feelings CRINGE AND SHUDDER.

When I read the first part of this book 
I cringe 
and 

shudder.

CRINGE 
because 
I can see my inadequacy and basic NOT OK-ness 
and realise 
how much I have changed.

SHUDDER 
because 
I recall the violence and threat I lived with 
and 
how hard it was to make basic human contact with many of these Beautiful Humans.
I loved them and still do.

 
I blame myself 
because of my 
prescriptive Youth Work Pipology at that time - 
rather than unconditional love.
I worked with passion amongst these BHP's
I gave my everything.
Beyond my experience and intelligence -
yet I wanted an outcome
rather than to just to love
How can I say JUST Love?

I failed to love because I had other agendas rather just yearning and working for their development/their self determined steps into wholeness.

I guess I am like that now to an extent.
I cannot see all my weaknesses and vulnerabilities. 
I know they are there - but I cannot see them.


MAKE
BEAUTIFUL