Thursday, December 19, 2013

Martin Wroe re-writes Christmas.

A Christmas mash-up by Martin Wroe

16th December 2013

Charles Wesley vs Noddy Holder.

Christina Rosetti vs Kirsty MacColl

Brightly shone the moon that night

Though the frost was cruel
When a poor man came in sight
Gathering winter fuel
When the snowman brings the snow
Well he just might like to know
He's put a great big smile,
On somebody's face
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall?
It's the time that every Santa has a ball
Does he ride a red nosed reindeer?
Do the fairies keep him sober for a day?
The first Nowell, the angel did say,
Was to certain poor shepherds
In fields where they lay,
Keeping their sheep
On a cold winters night that was so deep
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones we used to know
Where the treetops glisten,
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow
And his shelter was a stable
And his cradle was a stall
Where the poor and mean and lowly
Lived on earth our Saviour holy
They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on earth
But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for a virgin's head
Lo within a manger lies
He who built the starry skies
He who throned in height sublime,
Sits among the cherubim
I'll have a Blue Christmas without you,
I'll be so blue thinking about you,
Silent night
Holy Night
All is calm
All is bright
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
And he feeleth
for our sadness
And he shareth
in our gladness
A ray of hope flickers in the sky
A tiny star lights up way up high
How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift is given
All across the land
Dawns a brand new morn
This comes to pass
When a child is born
While mortals sleep, the angels keep
Their watch of wondering love
The church bells in town
They're ringing a song
What a happy sound
Baby - please come home
No ear may hear His coming
But in this world of sin
Where meek souls will receive him still
It'll be lonely this Christmas
Lonely and cold
It'll be cold, so cold
Without you to hold
Love came down at Christmas
Love all lovely, love divine
Love was born at Christmas
Star and angels gave the sign
You're a bum,
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead
On a drip in that bed
Light and life to all He brings
Risen with healing in His wings
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth.
So I sing for you
Though you can't hear me
I'm driving home for Christmas
With a thousand memories
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight
The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing Galway Bay
And the bells were ringing
Out for Christmas day
And still their heavenly music floats
Oer all the weary world
Beneath the angels strains have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
The holly bears a berry
As red as any blood
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ
To do poor sinners good
They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a silent night
And they told me a fairy story
'till I believed in the Israelite
Mild he lays his glory by
Born that we no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
War is over, If you want it
War is over
And man at war with man hears not
The love song which they bring
Oh, hush the noise, ye men of strife
And hear the angels sing
And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
Love shall be our token
Love be yours and love be mine
Love to God and all men?
Love for plea and gift and sign
And in our world of plenty
We can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world
at Christmas time
What can I give him
Poor as I am
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb
I have no gift to bring
Pa, rum, pa, pum, pum
That's fit to give a king
Pa, rum, pa, pum, pum
Where meek souls will receive him still
The dear Christ enters in
Look to the future now
It's only just begun
When with the ever circling years
Comes round the age of gold
When peace shall over all the earth
Its ancient splendours fling
And the whole world send back the song
Which now the angels sing
I wish you a hopeful Christmas
I wish you a brave new year
All anguish pain and sadness
Leave your heart, let your road be clear
Therefore Christians all be sure
Wealth or rank possessing
Ye who now will bless the poor
Shall yourselves find blessing
And so this is Christmas
And what have we done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight

Martin Wroe lives by a keyboard in North London and shares responsibility for raising four chickens. His most recent book is The Gospel According to Everyone (Vol II) which is available as a free download here.
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