Saturday, September 10, 2016

A priority in life 'Not to be like my Mother'

Facilitating courses of the years 
I have met so many humans
who have a priority in life
'Not to be like their Mother'.

I remember one woman telling me
about her oppression
= her Mother.
She felt she had to go and visit her.
She was forty+ years old 
yet she felt like a child 
when she was with her Mother.

She said she felt oppressed
by her Mother
even though
she had been dead for 10 years!

We worked the group through 
using different awareness exercises 
developing skills in this emotional world.
Sometimes called 
Emotional Literacy.
Sometimes called 
Emotional Intelligence.

One of my favourite questions 
to you,
to anyone who allows me close,
"When did you become an adult?"

My answer is 
when I was forty I became an adult.
I remember visiting my Mother shortly afterwards.
I held her hand - checked how long
a pinch of skin took to settle down
on the back of her hand.
When she told me to get a hair cut - 
I said to her
"Mother - I am forty now - 
I am keeping an eye on my hair 
every morning 
and I will decide ........."
And because I was smiling and looking into her eyes
and so close - it was a great moment.

It was me who had stepped out into independence.
It was an emotional thing.
Me managing my emotions 
NOT controlling them,

but managing them without hurting another.