Saturday, September 24, 2016

“Presence and Availability are the essence of love”

Have you made a rather urgent, eager, keen telephone call and the line is busy - engaged?

There are feelings attached - we feel disappointed - 
hang up or sometimes give up.  

The moment of eagerness has gone.

In my work there are constant interactions between people.  

Communication between people in thousands of locations.  
I love seeing snapshots as I move around.

Have you ever shared a thought, 
a feeling, an experience to a person and they were busy, 
engaged - 
RIGHT THERE in front of you but
 ‘engaged’ with something else 
pre-occupying them - 
or tired and bored.

I remember visiting a friends home 
and being asked about how things were  - any news.

I shared about the recent ugly experience, 
a few years years ago this was, 
when a young man ran into our hostel and 
repeatedly swiped a meat cleaver at another with the intention, I am convinced, 
of killing him.  
I was half way through the sharing this horrific situation 
and a friend of my friend broke in to tell me about 
how he had “seen on television.....da de da…”  

I remember the feeling - it was…
..there was a busy engaged signal - 
I hung up - gave up.

A truth, I believe.

·    We will not be tender with a person if they communicate boredom.

·    We will not be deep and profound when we get a ‘busy’ signal

·    We will not be sensitive if faced with a yawn

·    We will not share our successes if a person is pre-occupied - line engaged - or 
(as they are standing right in front of us) 
- with the answer machine on!

SO most people shut up, 
hang up, give up, or stay simple, 
impersonal, cliché, basic in communication.
I believe we can fulfil our mission, make life more exciting, 
create a real positive groove in our community 
if more and more people take risks in communication.

 These three things we can all work at:-

·    Asking questions beyond the superficial.  
So often we talk about FACTS, 
give OPINIONS and so few times 
ask deep ‘feeling’ questions.

·    LISTENING naturally follows.  
We can’t ask a deep question 
(I think???) 
if we then ‘hang up’ and not listen.  
We talk at 120 words a minute but can listen at a speed of 
900 words a minute!
so it is not easy to be an effective listener.

·    “Presence and Availability are the essence of love” 
(Gabrielle Marcel) 

Here it is - that number one priority = love.  
Being really present and really available 
is worth a thought and a journey.