Have you made a rather urgent, eager, keen telephone call and the line is busy - engaged?
There are feelings attached - we feel disappointed -
hang up or sometimes give up.
The moment of eagerness has gone.
In my work there are constant interactions between people.
Communication between people in thousands of locations.
I love seeing snapshots as I move around.
Have you ever shared a thought,
a feeling, an experience to a person and they were busy,
engaged -
RIGHT THERE in front of you but
‘engaged’ with something else
pre-occupying them -
or tired and bored.
I remember visiting a friends home
and being asked about how things were - any news.
I shared about the recent ugly experience,
a few years years ago this was,
when a young man ran into our hostel and
repeatedly swiped a meat cleaver at another with the intention, I am convinced,
of killing him.
I was half way through the sharing this horrific situation
and a friend of my friend broke in to tell me about
how he had “seen on television.....da de da…”
I remember the feeling - it was…
..there was a busy engaged signal -
I hung up - gave up.
A truth, I believe.
· We will not be tender with a person if they communicate boredom.
· We will not be deep and profound when we get a ‘busy’ signal
· We will not be sensitive if faced with a yawn
· We will not share our successes if a person is pre-occupied - line engaged - or
(as they are standing right in front of us)
- with the answer machine on!
SO most people shut up,
hang up, give up, or stay simple,
impersonal, cliché, basic in communication.
I believe we can fulfil our mission, make life more exciting,
create a real positive groove in our community
if more and more people take risks in communication.
These three things we can all work at:-
· Asking questions beyond the superficial.
So often we talk about FACTS,
give OPINIONS and so few times
ask deep ‘feeling’ questions.
· LISTENING naturally follows.
We can’t ask a deep question
(I think???)
if we then ‘hang up’ and not listen.
We talk at 120 words a minute but can listen at a speed of
900 words a minute!
so it is not easy to be an effective listener.
· “Presence and Availability are the essence of love”
(Gabrielle Marcel)
Here it is - that number one priority = love.
Being really present and really available
is worth a thought and a journey.
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