Friday, December 28, 2012

I want to feel what l feel.

I want to feel 
what l feel. 
What's mine. 
Even if it's not happiness. 
Because you're all you've got. 

Toni Morrison

I have posted this quote on Twitter/Facebook recently.
I wanted to save it until now
because I want to reflect upon it.
I feel it demands that of me.

'I WANT TO FEEL' ...... it says.

The reality of feelings - they live in us.
A God given part of the design - 
if we believe in any designer Divine involvement.

We have them wether we like it or not.
Wether we like some or dislike others - they are in there.
And often they come out - made visible - even physical 
called behaviour.

Sometimes they feel tough and we hide.
Duvet dive.
Keep ourself to our self!

Sometimes the same/similar feelings
result in behaviour such as::
put downs
raised volume
bitter words ......

I remember, in the last series of Big Brother reality TV in the UK,
one of the contestant had been put through a real emotional testing time.
When he had completed the task given he said::
"I don't know what to feel".

It seems to me that we don't have a choice in 'what to feel'
because feelings are feelings and we don't chose them at all.

What I consider he meant to say was::
"I don't know how to express how I feel".

Sometimes feelings can be so intense that we cannot explain in words.
To be able to articulate emotions is called Emotional Literacy.

We maybe adequate in most of our lives but not so good at expressing feelings to another - 
worse still ........ TO OURSELVES.

I honestly believe that relationship breakdowns and workplace conflicts can be managed
if we develop the awareness and skills of Emotional Literacy.

I believe we can ALL change.

I am not talking about CONTROL.
Controlling emotions is suppressing emotions.
Really going for it in terms of feeling emotions
is part of not Controlling but Managing emotions.

So we seek them out, feel them. 
Own them. Learn to articulate them.
Not be scared of them.
Decide how to behave with them.
And be more beautiful
for self
and others.
Emotional Intelligence is a life-times journey.

These are only words.
Not as easy as words on your screen BUT
well worth the journey of discovery.

I want to feel 
what l feel. 
What's mine. 
Even if it's not happiness. 
Because you're all you've got. 

So that quote again.
The bit about 'unhappiness'
is the most important it seems to me.
If we work at those, 
in terms of our Emotional Intelligence,
the learning can be so much more beautiful 
- fulfilling - 
becoming into wholeness indeed.