Tuesday, November 10, 2020

TA = "I am OK - You are OK" - Transactional Analysis - a journey I call ............. BECOMING

1 I am not ok ................ you are not ok
2 I am not ok ................ you are ok
3 I am ok ...................... you are not ok
4 I'm ok ........................ you're ok

.... each of the four are life positions.
I think we operate one of the above with everyone we meet
not in words - often
but definitely non-verbal language.

The worst one is::
1 I am not ok ................ you are not ok
= I don't feel good about myself and I don't like you either.

The best one, the wholistic one, the one to strive for is::
4 I'm ok ........................ you're ok
I accept myself
I accept you
I accept me with my beautiful imperfection
I accept you with your
beautiful imperfection.

Because this all comes from within
which manages our feelings
non-verbal language
- our starting place is with
the human we will
be spending 
the rest of our lives with.

I feed from this food for my soul.
It is all about my BECOMING.
AND you -
we agree don’t we?
We are not a finished product!
There is more to learn/live/become aware of ……
BECOMING ……….. are you a Becominger?

More about this OK stuff.
Powerful stuff here::

I suggest you don’t discard it.
Don’t brush it aside
as we often do with unwanted feelings.
(ALL FEELINGS are signals which, I believe
need to be welcomed and understood)

"I'm OK—You're OK" 
can best be understood when it is compared with the position of early childhood, 
"I'm Not OK—You're OK." 

In TA we believe all children make this preverbal conclusion during the first or second year of life 

in the setting of a world of giants, 
the most significant being their parents, 
upon whom they depend for everything, 
food, care, nurture, life itself. 

This decision, permanently recorded, is a product of the situation of childhood, 
in which the critical reality is dependency.

In early childhood, a period we designate as the first five years of life, 
thousands of events and perceptions, among them intense feelings, 
were recorded in the little person's brain 
and are available for replay throughout her/his life. 

If in the present we find ourselves in a situation of dependency, we become a "child" again, 
feeling the very same feelings we did when we were little. 
We not only remember that child, we are that child. 

We may again feel ::
"I'm Not OK and You're OK." 

Much of our life consists of attempts to rise above, circumvent, prove, or disprove this early decision. 

The most powerful thing is 
we don’t just remember experiences
we remember the associated feelings too.
It is all recorded on our internal hard drive.

I’m OK
You're OK

You are Beautiful