'Presence and availability
are the essence of love'
Gabriel Marcel
Apart from anger at injustice,
which motivates social action,
anger can often be so destructive
to an individual and relationships.
It all comes out of the Hard Drive
in our head = the Brain.
Emotions travel faster to the HD
than the thought process.
More-so in adolescence.
In certain situations the anger fades quickly.
Others live with it for much longer.
I believe and experience many humans
becoming aware and skilled in this area.
Emotional Intelligence can be developed.
My work with groups is a challenge.
Not only do I aim to communicate
but I aim to create an environment and opportunity
for everyone there to communicate.
Yes listening!
Yes verbally and non-verbally
expressing themselves.
In my own life I know that managing emotions needs
continuous opportunities to articulate them with others.
Many professional struggle with their own emotions
including anger management.
In their work and private lives.
Five significant Anger management tips ::
1 Every time you feel a feeling, give it a name.
This may sound strange because we have feelings every mili-second but
I am referring to the feelings which stand out from the crowd.
The special pleasant one and more important,
the not so positive one.
This act of naming feelings will develop emotional literacy
- inner you, the important you.
The emotionally literate you.
2 Capture the strength of a feeling when you feel it.
Hold it in your hand so to speak.
Note it.
Speak it or at least write it down.
Use it as a tool. A learning tool.
Try not to control it,
suppress it,
but manage it.
3 Give special attention to the anger, jealousy, envy and negative feelings generally.
Turn the emotion inside-out to examination it.
Take it by the throat and use the energy to understand it.
Reverse it into a positive feeling - use it.
Do something with it.
When I watch a movie or TV and see a fictitious character,
or a real life person, whose behaviour or attitude I don't like,
I ask why? Why don't I? What are my feelings?
What is the behaviour? Why is this person behaving this way?
I am taking the energy from my own emotions and using it.
4 If you only spend time with humans just like yourself
- same social strata, it will be harder to develop emotionally.
Deliberately spend time with those who are different thanyou.
The more extreme the better.
Do the above with them. Learn from them.
Working with 'the hard to reach' is a great challenge
but massive in terms of learning.
5 All feelings are yours - not another persons.
Feelings inside you are yours.
"He made me feel angry" cannot be a correct statement
because nobody makes us feel. They come from inside us.
We feel. They behave. They have attitudes.
They can be nasty or beautiful.
Both ends of the spectrum can stimulate our feelings.
And - they, family, friends, colleagues, clients - in helping relationships
need a human in their lives who are getting to grips with their own
emotions - including ANGER.
www.blobtree.com
www.pipwilson.com
via me - = BEAUTIFUL IMPERFECTION = INCOMPLETE
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