Wednesday, July 14, 2004

..... what can I say ...... I suppose I usually start with 'feelings'.
After many years of people development work - some people call it 'informal education', it is a regular activity to reflect on the day - the work - the mission (that is what it is for me) and some people call this 'reflective practice.

I wrote my first book from notes I did over years. 'Gutter Feelings" it was called. It was launched to a press who called it 'the cross and the switchblade of Britain'. That may not mean much to some. This was a book based in a New York context with street gangs etc..
I can go back to my notes thirty years and see details of who had a broken arm and how I built on a human contact because of this knowledge - remembering to ask about the arm could be vital when working with humans who did not give much away of themselves.
I added to the book my feelings - faith I was testing and discovering afresh - and my studies - especially 'emotional deprivation'.

So these late night clicks could end up being a resource for another life story as the first book only covered the first forty!

So how am I FEELING? - I feel good, tired, satisfied, sleepless, stretched and aware of screaming outside which turns my soul - the are not screams from a comforted soul!
I feel best when I sense humans have stepped forward a wee bit. I have seen people trust me a little and also the group they are in. I see them stretching a foot outside their comfort zones where growth resides. I see a new gentle smile on faces and some lingering later and later.
I will need to reflect now and come back at this - and I need to drink a pint of water.

.......zzzz good night - precious beautiful humans ............. bbelievinginthat ......